Buell dilemma

[Lord Danoir the first]

So let's set it straight from the off..... I love my Buell...... a lot...... It's not just that I love riding it and I love the looks of it, it was a gift from Anna for my 40th at a time we really couldn't afford it, so it has enormous sentimental value..... and she loves it too, for that reason.

So when I found out there was a Buell specialist in Manchester, and apparently the only place in the world who works solely on Buells, I was delighted..... even more chuffed when I found out that they were having a BBQ and open day last Saturday.

So, my beloved Buell and I join arse in seat and skip down the road for a look-see.

Upon arrival: all very ordinary. A shitty industrial estate on the edge of town, a bike garage...... and lots of chaps (some actually wearing chaps) on Buells........ Friends to be made!!!!

I dismount, remove lid and waft fabulous hair in the sun...... in slow motion of course, and head off for a mooch.
I was in the doorway of the workshop when a chap (just jeans) says to me "you look lost", to which I reply "no, I'm just being nosey"........ and that sets of a conversation with 'Maz' who I later learn is the owner of the establishment, a Buell nut and widely regarded know-it-all of the marque...... and right foul mouthed cunt, I might add.

"what have you got" he says
"an XB9" I reply, to which, some randomer in the background shouts "don't say that, Maz hates XB's!!"
me, looking at Maz - "why?"
Maz - "because they're shit"
me - "well I love mine, what's wrong with them?"
Maz - "where do I start?"........

and of-the-fuck he chunners....... for about half a cock sucking hour!!!!

I'll bypass the incidentals (of which there were many) and cut to the main bug bear......... "and, of course, they ALL blow up, and there's fuck all you can do but throw the cunt away" (nice cuntage I remember thinking at the time).

Turns out, that there's a cog in the oil pump mechanism somewhere which wears down over time and spits pieces of steel in to and around the engine, causing all sorts of untold damage, eventually resulting in a full on, old school 2 stroke stylee seizure (of which I have considerable experience).

Mine, having covered a shade over 17K is well past the point at which it could have been saved and according to Maz "is like a fucking hand grenade with the pin pulled out" (I'm sure there was a sneaky "cunt" in there too, but it was too subtle for me to remember).

According to old potty mouth, it's only a matter of time, and very little at that, before my beloved Buell shits itself and becomes salvage parts........ at which point, more randomers interject with "I'll have your <insert part>"........... fucking nosey cunts......

"So, what do I do Maz?"....... I ask him, hoping that the friendly familiarity of name use may just eek out a nugget of compassion and a consequential lifeline...... but no, 4 options apparently:

1. Ride the cunt until it fails and flog the bits
2. Sell or trade the cunt..... fucking pronto!!
3. If you love the cunt so much, stick it in your garage and buy a decent bike
4. Engine swap, if you're insane and love the cunt so much

I don't want to break it, I don't want to sell or trade it and I don't want another bike taking up more space in the garage. An engine swap will also require a strip to make sure I'm not swapping bad for bad.

Anyway, I'm not looking for answers....... a problem shared, is a problem halved by all accounts, so I apologise in advance for the inevitable loss of sleep you're all bound to suffer henceforth.

Fucking Buell............ but I do love the cunt

[MOzZereLLa]

1. You'll always be worrying about a catastrophic engine failure.
2. You love it so can't.
3. If you love riding it - not an option. If you love it without riding it - an option.
4. Lookout for a low mileage motor (if you can find one) and try and learn what this whole cog failure is all about and design a replacement that doesn't fail and save the old Buell owners of the world whilst still riding and enjoying the bike. It might not fail for years?

[Tiiimmmaaayyyy]

Is this nodding dogs? Why the overuse of the C word?

[Lord Danoir the first]

1. You'll always be worrying about a catastrophic engine failure.
2. You love it so can't.
3. If you love riding it - not an option. If you love it without riding it - an option.
4. Lookout for a low mileage motor (if you can find one) and try and learn what this whole cog failure is all about and design a replacement that doesn't fail and save the old Buell owners of the world whilst still riding and enjoying the bike. It might not fail for years?

old potty mouth has actually developed a replacement which doesn't fail but only recommends fitting to really low milers........ finding a low miler and having the fix done is an option but it seems the old c........... is off the road for a while as I've more important things to spend Anna's money on.

[Alzo]

Your bike could be the exception to the rule...ignorance is bliss...delete this thread...get Anna to knock you clean out...get concussion...and forget the whole sorry episode.

[David W]

Won't fit the 'fix' to a bike that hasn't gone bang?
Never heard so much fucking bollocks in my life.
Everything and anything can be replaced, especially if it hasn't actually broken yet!
Cunt.

[Neio79]

Surely unless it fully disintegrates then it can be saved by fitting the fix and stripping the engine to clean it out. 

[Lord Danoir the first]

Won't fit the 'fix' to a bike that hasn't gone bang?
Never heard so much fucking bollocks in my life.
Everything and anything can be replaced, especially if it hasn't actually broken yet!
Cunt.

He was a bit of a cunt to be honest...... but what he was saying was that enough of the gear teeth will already be floating in the engine causing damage that replacing it with the improved version won't undo the damage already done and won't stop ultimate failure.

At least he wasn't scaremongering and angling for work.

[Lord Danoir the first]

Surely unless it fully disintegrates then it can be saved by fitting the fix and stripping the engine to clean it out.

Indeed..... and replacing the crank and various engine bits depending on the damage..... his point is that it's not worth it.

[Green_Ninja]

Surely unless it fully disintegrates then it can be saved by fitting the fix and stripping the engine to clean it out.

Indeed..... and replacing the crank and various engine bits depending on the damage..... his point is that it's not worth it.

maybe but you won't be sure until you've had a look see, you may be lucky and get away with fitting the fix, assuming the bike is running OK at the moment.

[David W]

He was a bit of a cunt to be honest...... but what he was saying was that enough of the gear teeth will already be floating in the engine causing damage that replacing it with the improved version won't undo the damage already done and won't stop ultimate failure.

At least he wasn't scaremongering and angling for work.

Change the part, check the condition of the old one, flush the oil a few times.
Struggling to think what terminal damage this mysterious part is causing on a pushrod v-twin?
Did he actually say what the part was, or is it part of his aura of guru and you have to reach a level of consciousness via your credit card first?

[Neio79]

Surely unless it fully disintegrates then it can be saved by fitting the fix and stripping the engine to clean it out.

Indeed..... and replacing the crank and various engine bits depending on the damage..... his point is that it's not worth it.

But that is his opinion. Hes talking from a purely black and white cost POV. For you and the sentimental value it holds it probably is.

You can do it slow time over the next year or so etc.  Then when done you know you have a good one which holds the sentimental value as well .

[Lord Danoir the first]

I'm not looking for answers, just having a moan, but thanks for your thoughts.

I'll get the Lotus finished and put the MV back together then decide what to do.

Anna didn't resist the idea of punting it too much, so I may have lightened on that a bit.........

Shame I won't be riding it much though.......... a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, as they say.

[Alzo]

Please don't ever visit a Fortune Teller. 

[mc101]

Won't fit the 'fix' to a bike that hasn't gone bang?
Never heard so much fucking bollocks in my life.
Everything and anything can be replaced, especially if it hasn't actually broken yet!
Cunt.

He was a bit of a cunt to be honest...... but what he was saying was that enough of the gear teeth will already be floating in the engine causing damage that replacing it with the improved version won't undo the damage already done and won't stop ultimate failure.

At least he wasn't scaremongering and angling for work.

Smells and sounds like bullshit (Buellshit ?) -- of course its fixable - if parts are "worn to the point of being filings the majority will be in the oil" -- drain it and check ..